Two Posts in One Day- What in the World??

So I'm inspired by my husband every day. He is the best- and he's all mine girls! HANDS OFF!

Anyway, over on his blog, he has put up pictures of some of his drawings, both old and new. I thought I would put up some pictures of the cakes I've decorated. I decided I'd start with the very first big project for a cake - back from 2004. This was for a birthday party for one of our friends. For not knowing what I was doing, I thought this turned out really well.

Back in Action

My new blog friend Casey has inspired me to continue to blog. So, like Michael Jordan, I've returned from my first blog retirement.

Busted out of retirement...........and can't think of anything to say! That's a first for me. So here's what's been going through my mind in the last few days:

1) Work schedule continues to be an issue- what to do? Do I want to do this or do I want to make cupcakes?
2) We sold the house in Durham- torn between relief and another reminder that Mike's really gone
3) Vacation next week. Haven't had a vacation since last July 4th. We are looking forward to it.
4) Gas prices said to be rising to $5 a gallon this summer- what gives?
5) Election! Can we be done with the primaries and get on with it?
6) My sister went to a writer's conference last weekend and I haven't been able to get in touch with her to see how it went. Call me if you read this!
7) Heroes Con 2008- I just don't know what to think. We have to go but I'm not sure at times that I'll be able to walk in the Convention Center. Lots of friends coming so I'm excited about that but then feel guilty about being excited. I will cry a lot I'm sure and just hope that I can keep it to myself and not bring everyone down. Todd had a blog entry about how he and Craig and Mike would find one thing to run into the ground at each convention. Anytime we got together with Mike, he and Matt would do that too. My fave was the year that everything was "Runnin' with tha Big Dogs". So dumb yet so incredibly funny. I miss Mike's laugh. :-)

Well, that's a lot to ponder. Back to blogging though!

I'm going to call my sister right now! You should call your siblings too and see how they are doing. And remember to be nice- it takes less energy and it makes you feel better.

Peace, OUT! (No one says that anymore)

End of the Road

This is the end of my blogging for awhile. I've decided that I don't have anything that interesting to say that's not depressing. I think I'm going to go back to the old fashioned diary where I can write away and burn it if I want.

All the work issues and the feeling surrounding my brother in law's death just don't seem to fit on a public blog.

I thank Renee (my only reader!) for all your comments which have made me feel better. Thank you so very much!

One day I'll appear on here again with fun stories of my dealings with Hollywood or something else fun. I may start posting cakes I've made and decorated - cake decorating always made me happy.

Keep your chin up and be kind to your fellow man and especially to animals.

PEACE- OUT!!

Make that Call! Make that trip!!

I had a great visit with my family this weekend. I missed my husband terribly. I told everyone we are socially stunted because we NEVER have social engagements then when we do, they are all on the same weekend. So he had a birthday party to go to in his home town while I was at my sister's house.

The play my niece was in was the cutest thing I've seen in awhile. The kids sang their songs and did their dance moves in place with no fear of what they looked like. They were truly having a ball and it was refreshing to see. I loved that sheepish smile I got when she finally found her family, including me, out in the audience. I waved and she gave me a little wave back. So darn cute! My nephew had a great time in the audience too. He enjoyed the play and was happy that his teacher in school was sitting behind him. Several of the girls were flirting with him after the play and he loved it. They kept poking him and he kept saying 'Ouch' loudly. I was afraid that they were making fun of him or something. But when I asked him if they were hurting him he smiled and said, "No, I just say that because it makes them laugh". Flirting 101- he passed! He also told me he likes to play with Tomboys instead of Girly-girls. But one of his friends is a Tomboy and a Girly-girl so that makes her a "Tomgirl" he said. FANTASTIC!!

I helped my sister with her flowers. Turns out she knew what she was doing and knew what she wanted so we dug and weeded and pruned and mixed and fertilized. We ended up with a beautiful display of flowers by her mailbox and dashes of color in the two beds in the front of her house. Just in time too because she didn't know it but her husband had arranged a surprise birthday party for her on Saturday night. Her friends and their kids showed up and brought everything. They were GREAT! We all jumped out and said surprise! It was great because she had no clue. The kids played and we all had ice cream and cake. My nephew got to show off his new Wii my husband and I had gotten him. I think the whole family was happy.

As I was leaving I wondered why I hadn't been down to see them since Christmas. It's only three hours~ away. Since I lost my brother in law last year unexpectedly, you would think I would've learned to not take people, especially family, for granted. I get to see them in two weeks though so that's great. No Wii at my house so I'll have to find some other toys, etc.

After leaving my sister's house, I went to the family reunion. My mother's side always has one each year. I'm so glad they do. My 85 year old grandmother looked better than me! I hope I have that to look forward to- still looking great and feeling great. She's one tough cookie. We only seem to eat and run though and not have that much time together. I got to eat with my Dad and my sister/husband/niece/nephew. Great food! .....although someone actually brought chicken nuggets- the kind shaped as dinosaurs and tater tots. My niece asked for squash and greens and butterbeans. Good girl!

Last, I went over to Durham to check on my brother-in-laws house. We're trying to sell it and while we had a buyer, it fell through. Guess it's hard for folks these days to get a loan with all the junk loans that were dealt in the last 5 years. The flowers in the front of the house were so beautiful. It made me sad. I wondered if my brother in law liked them when they bloomed. He may not have cared- I never asked him. We had last visited him in 2005. I keep wracking my brain to remember if I was nice to him. All I'm sure of is that I took him for granted. His passing has left a huge hole in my life too (and my husband's of course). I loved my brother in law dearly but don't know if he knew that. He was so funny. I loved when he came to visit because he and my husband would get going on something and run it into the ground. It was hysterical. He always made me laugh. He had the biggest laugh too. I don't think I ever told him how much I looked forward to his visits. I don't know that I ever told him that I appreciated him visiting on Thanksgiving. I don't know that I ever told him how proud I was of him. But I'm sure I took him for granted. And I have to live with that every day.

Make that call to someone in your family. Send a 'thinking about you' email or card to someone you haven't talked to in awhile. Schedule a trip to visit your family. Take some cookies or cupcakes to your elderly neighbor that you've only waved to on occasion the past year. Just take 5 minutes to reconnect with someone. You never know how long you or they'll be here.

Family!

It's been busy as it can be here at work. But the last two days, I've realized how lucky I am. Some people I know seem to have the worst luck and also continue to make bad choices for themselves and wonder how they got in a bad situation. I have such a great family! My husband and I have gotten closer and closer and I feel like our marriage is getting better with age. (corny but true) I'm so lucky to have him. Plus he's a darn good artist and I'm so proud his first piece got published.

I'm going to see my Sister and her family tomorrow. My niece is in a play and I'm bringing the nephew a Wii. They are good kids. I can't wait to help my sister plant flowers and teach my niece how to use her cake decorating set and bowl against my nephew on the Wii. Plus I'll give my bro-n-law a hard time and he'll kid me about how much older I am than him (not much). I'm so glad my sister and I got such good guys. THEY ARE OUT THERE!

When you think you have it bad, someone always has it worse. I have to remind myself to stop bitching and remember to be thankful. I swear a positive attitude helps to get through stressful times.

Once there was a guy here at work that got on my last last last shread of a nerve. He has no social skills whatsoever and is extremely egocentric. I can't stand these types of folks -plus they tend to have entitlement issues. I continually let this guy drive me crazy. Finally I had to ask myself why I was letting his actions control me. Why did I give a crap at all? So my new tactic when I can't figure out a problem is to ask- What's the opposite? What's the absolute craziest thing I could do to solve this situation. So I decided I'd make an effort to be nice to him. Not phony- can't do that and it drives me crazy too- but I would be polite and say "Hello" to him in the hallway. Just doing that for a week decreased my stress level by 90%. I had been pouring negative energy- not to get too new-age'ie- into avoiding him or making a point NOT to speak to him when our paths crossed. Plus I was telling everyone how much I couldn't stand him. Negative energy only made me stress more. Just saying "Hello" in the hall and not focusing any energy on this guy relieved the stress I brought on myself.

So when someone or something drives you crazy- think of what's the opposite of this situation and see if that will help. Remember that no one drives you crazy- you ALLOW them to drive you crazy. Try for one day to say "Hello" to that person who seems to walk in a cloud of negative energy.

Last of all- we are a nation that thrives on gossip. Negative gossip fans negative energy. Try for one day a week to quit gossiping or to decide not to join in gossip. It will make you feel better. I have two friends who I've known for a long time. One of them used to continually try to play one of us against the other. We figured this out one time when my friend confronted me on something she thought I said about her. We made a pact then and there to tell the other person that we would not talk about anyone who was not present. We took control and put an end to gossip and an end to a potentially friendship breaking situation. I actually had to cut the game-playing friend out of my life for a year because I didn't want to be sucked back into her back-biting and gossiping. She came around and we are friends again. It was the smartest thing I could've done for our friendship.


So good vibes and positive energy to everyone. I swear it will make you feel better.




- I am not running for political office but I support this message

Missed opportunities

Our locally owned grocery store, Ukrop's, sponsors one of the largest 10k races in the world. It's a great day for families because they have a kids 1k fun run plus they have several runner divisions and a huge amount of walkers. Most races don't include walkers so it's nice for Matt and I as he runs it and I walk it.

We have been training for it through the local YMCA every Saturday. I love it because I know for 10 weeks I get to spend every Saturday with Matt. We exercise in the morning and have lunch together at the local Ukrop's. It's our date day and it's one of the most fun times of year for me.

Last Saturday, we sat at Ukrop's eating sushi- they have a fresh sushi bar there that's amazing- and talking over our plan for the day. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a man with long grey hair greased back and a weathered face sit at a table outside. I noticed that he had a big coat and a pair of jean, both covered with dirt. I don't know why I continued to watch him.....he opened his cigarette box so carefully to light his last cigarette and gingerly fingered his cup of coffee. I wondered if he was homeless- strange to see a homeless man in this area of town as it's pretty rural and out of the way. I wondered if he would like some lunch. I wondered if he would like some fruit instead. I wondered if he would like some canned goods to take with him. I wondered again if he would like the chicken or the meatloaf from the hot bar for lunch. I wondered if I should give him my cup of watermelon that I hadn't began to eat yet. I wondered if I should stick my head out the door and simply ask him if he'd like some lunch that I would bring it to him. I wondered.....

All these things ran through my head but I never did anything - I just watched him. He got up to leave and searched the trash cans before he walked down the sidewalk and off to the woods. So I wondered and wondered but never did anything. I missed an opportunity to help out someone who may have really appreciated a hot meal on a sunny Saturday afternoon.

Next time I won't just wonder, I'll ask. Maybe he tells me to get lost but at least I'll have asked.

If you're putting off making a call to someone who you haven't seen or heard from in awhile, do it. Take 5 minutes to write a letter or just a note to someone who may need it.
Send $20 to your local animal shelter or pick up their 'wish list' to see if you have things already at home you can donate.

A little goes a long way.........

Travel, Work and Looking Back

Got to travel to NYC this week for a conference which I enjoyed very much. We are lucky to have some great vendors who take good care of me when I'm up there so I did not have to buy a meal. It was beautiful on Tuesday night- walked 14 blocks through the beautiful snow in NYC to a great restaurant for a great meal. We hardly get any snow here in Richmond anymore so I really enjoyed being out in the snow- especially in NYC. Turned out that the restaurant was Becco- same one that Matt and I ate at before we went to the Hugh Jackman play on our first trip to NYC a few years ago. Great food and plenty of wine and great company. I spoke to one of the attorney's for BOA who expressed his love of one of our ad campaigns. I was really proud!

Feb. 12 marked that it's been six months since my brother in law died. I was in NYC and away from Matt which was not what I wanted. Luckily, his good buddy Leaf came over for a visit so Matt did have to raise a shot of Glenfiddach alone. (Wrong spelling I'm sure but you get the point)
Folks keep telling me that it gets easier with time but for me it's only worse. My heart breaks for Matt each and every day. I'm pissed off each day because Mike didn't deserve to die so young. I'm mad at myself for not talking to Mike more or getting down there to visit him. We had not been to his house since 2005 and can not find a reason why we didn't go visit- except that as everyone knows, deadlines were always on his mind so we didn't want to impose. Which seems so stupid and ignorant now. Matt misses him so much and so do I. I'm mad at myself for not making the time. I'm mad at the world because it's not a better place without Mike. My heart just breaks for Shirley and Cecil too. I just can't imagine how it will ever get easier. Ever. I worry every day whether or not I'm doing right by Charlie. He's been so good to us. Such a sweetie and with so much personality. We really try to make sure that we give him extra hugs and kisses and belly rubs. I just feel bad that there's no one at home with him each day like he was used to. He gets to hang out with Toonces all day but I think they just end up sleeping mostly. Just to cope with the lose of Mike, I pretend with Charlie that Mike comes to the house to play with him during the day. Each day when I get home I ask him if he had a good time playing with his Daddy. For some reason, this make me feel better, because if Mike's spirit is still around with us, he would do everything he could to be with Charlie.

Last night as Matt and I were eating our dinner, Toonces decided to stalk Charlie and they chased each other for a long time. Toonces chased Charlie around the house several times. Charlie likes to sneak up the side of the stairs and wait for Toonces and then chase him off into another room. They were really having a log of fun. It was the perfect night because for one hour, we were all happy.

If you're ever in NYU, I recommend you walk in the snow to Becco to eat. If you're ever in Richmond, I invite you to stop in and see our two kitties.

Be kind to your fellow man and the animals we love. Remember Mike. We love him so much.